CHAPTER 8
The 7 Habits
Cliff’s journey through self-improvement was like trying to assemble a piece of Ikea furniture without instructions—frustrating, confusing, and full of extra parts that didn’t seem to fit anywhere. He devoured book after book, each promising to change his life, but they all left him feeling more like he’d been tricked into a motivational seminar rather than given real tools to work with. The pages were filled with grandiose quotes like, “It’s not the number of breaths we take, but the number of moments that take our breath away.” Nice words, sure, but about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Other books weren’t much better. They offered advice so mechanical it seemed like they were written for robots. “Just be yourself,” they said, as if that was the most straightforward thing in the world. “Think outside the box,” they urged, like creativity was just a switch you could flip. Cliff found himself flipping more pages than switches, searching for something—anything—that felt like it might actually make a difference.
Then, one day, he stumbled upon The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. The title didn’t exactly grab him, and the fact that it was written in 1989 didn’t help. “Great,” he thought, “just what I need—advice from a book that’s older than my first car.” But the book’s reputation intrigued him, and so, with a mix of skepticism and hope, he decided to give it a shot. Starting with a summary, of course—just in case.
As he read through the summaries, something strange happened. This book didn’t just talk at him; it seemed to speak to him, right to the parts that other books had ignored. Covey didn’t waste time on superficial advice; he went straight to the core of what really mattered. This wasn’t about slapping on a coat of paint; it was about tearing down the walls and rebuilding from the ground up.
Intrigued, Cliff dove into the full text—not once, but five times over. Each reading was like peeling back another layer of an onion, though thankfully without the tears. Covey started by redefining success, stripping away all the glitz and glamour of wealth and fame. Cliff found himself nodding along, suddenly realizing that all those trophies, certificates, and LinkedIn endorsements weren’t what made him successful. It was about personal growth and fulfillment, and on that front, Cliff knew he had some work to do.
As a medical professional, assistant professor, and research scientist, Cliff had checked all the boxes for external success. But Covey’s words cut through the façade. “What good is all this success,” Cliff thought, “if it doesn’t bring happiness?” Covey’s principles—integrity, humility, and continuous learning—weren’t just buzzwords; they were the real deal, the kind of stuff that actually mattered when you stripped everything else away.
Covey’s concept of paradigms—how the lens through which you view the world shapes your reality—was another revelation. Cliff realized he had been looking at life through the wrong end of the telescope, making mountains out of molehills and stressing over things that didn’t matter. Covey’s idea of a paradigm shift wasn’t just some mental exercise; it was like flipping the telescope around and seeing things clearly for the first time.
The first three habits—Be Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, and Put First Things First—hit Cliff like a one-two-three punch. These habits weren’t just about winning at life; they were about winning at the game inside his own head.
Be Proactive wasn’t just about taking initiative; it was about reclaiming control over his life, like finally getting hold of the TV remote after someone else had been hogging it. Cliff learned to focus on what he could influence instead of stressing over things he couldn’t change—like the weather, traffic, or why there was never any coffee left in the break room when he needed it most. This mindset shift was powerful. His wife’s illness, which once seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, became a challenge he could face head-on. Instead of feeling helpless, he started to think about what he could do—how he could improve her well-being, how he could keep himself healthy and sane in the process.
Begin with the End in Mind forced Cliff to confront the harsh reality of his life. He was so caught up in his to-do list, so focused on climbing the ladder of success, that he hadn’t stopped to consider if that ladder was leaning against the right wall. Covey’s words echoed in his mind—“What will people say about me when I’m gone?” Cliff knew it wouldn’t be “He was really good at checking off boxes.” It was about the legacy he would leave behind. Cliff began crafting a personal mission statement, one that reflected his true values and desires. Achieving optimal health became a priority—not just for the sake of living longer but for living better.
After crafting his personal mission statement, Cliff felt a sense of clarity he hadn’t experienced since he first discovered the joys of caffeine. His goals were finally aligned with his values, and the path ahead seemed clearer. But as he stared at the long list of tasks that emerged from this newfound direction, the enormity of it all threatened to overwhelm him once again. It was like looking at a mountain of laundry after a long trip—where do you even start? He realized that setting goals wasn’t enough; he needed a way to prioritize them, to ensure that his actions were in sync with the life he envisioned. That’s where Put First Things First came in.
Cliff understood he had to start saying “no” more often, which was tough because, deep down, he wanted to please everyone—even his friend who always asked for “just one more favor”. Focusing on what was truly important rather than what seemed urgent became his new mantra. Applying Covey’s Time Management Matrix, Cliff began sorting tasks into quadrants like a pro. And it was a revelation—many of the things that had consumed his time and energy were mere distractions, urgent but unimportant, pulling him away from the goals that truly mattered.
With newfound clarity, Cliff began to shift his focus to Quadrant II in that matrix—tasks that were important but not necessarily urgent. These were the activities that would bring him closer to his true goals, the ones that required discipline and foresight. It wasn’t easy, but the more he practiced, the more natural it became.
That’s how Cliff knew he needed a new challenge after completing his 5K—something to keep him moving forward. So he registered for a 10K in Lavishland, not just as another race but as a commitment to himself, a way to ensure he was living in alignment with the principles he had just learned…
